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THE NORTHERN KENTUCKY SEARCHER VOLUME 6, NUMBER 49, DECEMBER 10, 2006 EVERY WOMAN’S BATTLE As I mentioned last week, Wilson Adams, the editor of Biblical Insights, requested that Vicky and I write an article each for a special issue of the magazine that will appear in January. If you read last week’s bulletin, you know that the articles deal with a sensitive subject. We did our best to be as straightforward, yet tactful, as possible. I pray that both articles will prove helpful. Today, Vicky’s article appears. Those of us who are of a “certain age” can remember a time when some television programs were so discreet that they actually depicted married couples sleeping in separate twin beds. This certainly seems silly and comical nowadays, doesn’t it? Yet look at the programming of today. There seems to be no limit at all as to what will be on television, radio, movies, or in books and magazines. How did we get from “I Love Lucy” to “Sex and the City”, “Temptation Island”, and other such rubbish in the course of a couple of generations? Because people set the standards for our entertainment, and when people decide on that which is reasonable and decent, it’s only a matter of time until it becomes totally unreasonable and indecent. God made men and women to be sexual beings. Since He created us with these desires, He understands them even better than we do ourselves. And He also laid down the limits by which these desires could be fulfilled. Hebrews 13:4 gives us that limit, “Let marriage he held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” Sexual activity between marriage partners is to be the one and only recourse for sexual gratification. This is God’s will. And yet it can be so hard to obey! Men and women struggle in different ways when it comes to sexual temptation. While a man’s battle begins with what he takes in through his eyes, a woman’s often begins with her heart and her thoughts. And very often a woman’s battle begins with a heart full of disappointment. She may be disappointed in men, circumstances, God, life, money, kids, and the future. She may turn to secret fantasies to find excitement, and the married woman may start comparing her husband with other men. Of course, when she does that her husband always comes up short. Why can’t he be as witty as this one, as attentive as that one, as romantic as someone else? Some have even gone so far as to imagine the death of their husbands, wondering about the “new, improved” husband they may someday have! However, many women believe that just because they are not involved in a physical, sexual affair they don’t have a problem with sexual immorality. But doesn’t emotional and mental unfaithfulness still compromise our sexual integrity? 1 Peter 3:1-4 brings up some pertinent instructions when it comes to dealing with our hearts and minds, “In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. And let not your adornment be merely external – braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.” God knows our thoughts, He knows what is at our core, and we will be held accountable for that, as well as our actions. Having “emotional affairs” is just another of Satan’s methods of entangling us in sin. We may start dressing in a way of enticing men to sexual thoughts, whether we engage in any actual activity or not. Again in our entertainment, even the smartest, most accomplished, and successful women are nearly always shown in too low-cut, too tight, too short, too revealing attire – and we may find that type of “power” heady and exhilarating. And after all, a little office flirtation isn’t really hurting anybody, right? The lines between what is appropriate and what is not start to blur when we allow our emotional desires and fantasies to overshadow our spirituality. One of the biggest temptations nowadays for women who want something more stimulating in their lives can be found on the Internet. How many people have we all heard about who were led astray by someone they met on-line? What began as a means to find information quickly or to send notes to friends has also become one of Satan’s most useful tools to lead us down the pathway of destruction. There are women who drop their kids off at school in the morning, then spend hours throughout the day “chatting” with a man they met on a web site. So often the “chats” become more personal and intimate until they are both so hooked on one another that they have to meet. This is reminiscent of the description of sin we find in James 1:13-16, “Let no one say when he is tempted, ‘I am being tempted by God’; for God cannot be tempted by evil, and He Himself does not tempt anyone. But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death. Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren.” As God’s women, we must protect ourselves from any and every type of immorality that exists. Could you imagine the woman of Proverbs 31 allowing herself to be pulled away from her Lord by a failure to control her thoughts and emotions? All Christian women, whether married or single, have an obligation to live by God’s standards, which are light years higher than man’s standards. By resisting temptation when it starts, redirecting tempting thoughts, and renewing our minds we can develop an attitude such as David had when he said, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my anxious thoughts; and see if there be any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Psalm 139:23-24). Vicky Litmer |