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THE NORTHERN KENTUCKY SEARCHER VOLUME 4, NUMBER 24, JUNE 13, 2004 JUST THINKING ABOUT THE FAMILY PART 4 For many of us one of the happiest, as well as one of the most frightening, days of our lives was the day when the doctor said the test was positive and there was a baby on the way. As we looked into the eyes of our spouse and held each other close we knew that we were embarking on a new and exciting adventure. Do you remember that feeling? Do you remember the love you felt for that person you had chosen to spend your life with? Do you remember the feeling of responsibility knowing that you were going to be bringing a new life into this world? Remember the countless hours spent in discussion about how you were going to raise that child, what you would and would not do? Oh, the innocence of inexperience! Remember the childbirth classes, the shopping, the showers, and all of the things that go along with the impending arrival of a new addition to a family? What a blessing it is to be parents! The psalmist wrote in Psalm 127:3-5, “Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.” God’s plan for the family is a wonderful thing – one man and one woman together for life, being fruitful and multiplying, bringing children into the world. Within His plan God has provided for t he physical needs of the child, for the intellectual needs of the child, for the emotional needs of the child, and for the spiritual needs of the child. To summarize how God has provided for these needs we can simply say “the parents.” The responsibility to provide for the physical needs of the child is found in such passages as 1 Tim. 5:8, “But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.” When it comes to the intellectual, emotional, and spirituals needs such passages as Deut. 6:6 – 7, as well as Eph. 6:4, show that God has placed the placed the primary responsibility in these areas on the shoulders of the parents. When we choose to become parents, we choose to assume these responsibilities. If ever there is a situation where God would have us to put the needs of others before ourselves it is in the realm of parenting. Certainly when it comes to manifesting genuine care and concern for others, our children must be at the top of the list. Why is it than that we are seeing more and more parents within the Lord’s church acting like those in the world when it comes to their children and their parental responsibilities? I truly believe with all of my heart that, barring death, a child has the God-given right to grow up with both parents. Surely that truth is contained in our Lord’s teaching concerning marriage in such passages as Matt. 5;32, “But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.” God’s intention is that marriage consist of one man and one woman together for life. I truly believe that a child has the God-given right to have all of his or her needs provided through the faithful fulfillment of their responsibilities by the parents. Yet more and more we are seeing parents fail miserably in this area and the children suffering because of it – and it is even happening within the church. There is a passage of scripture that I would like to take out of its context because the wording of it fits this topic. It is found in Gen. 42:22, and it is a statement Reuben made to his brothers concerning their ungodly treatment of their brother Joseph. Reuben said, “Spake I not unto you, saying Do not sin agains the child; and ye would not hear? Therefore, behold, his blood is required.” When marriage deteriorate into unhappiness and discontent, or when they dissolve altogether and end in divorce, the children of that marriage are being “sinned against.” A child should not be deprived of the constant presence of a mother or a father. The child has the God-given right to both. A child should not have to listen to his mother and father fight. A child should never have to choose one parent over another and certainly should never have to hear one parent trying to convince them to choose over the other parent. A child should not have to undergo emotional problems because he or she some how feels responsible for the ungodly behavior of his or her parents. A child should never have to be used as a pawn in a power struggle between two adults who brought that child into the world. I stood in a courtroom hallway once and watched and listened as two “divorce” lawyers (representing two Christians) negotiated over the children. They were actually bargaining with one another as the parents sought to WIN the battle, and the children were the bounty. A child should never have to be deprived of one set of the grandparents. There are times when a divorce is scriptural, but even than it has been brought about by sin. When it happens, the children are going to suffer. We will have more to say about this next week, Lord willing. Greg Litmer
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