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THE NORTHERN KENTUCKY SEARCHER VOLUME 3, NUMBER 3, FEBRUARY 16, 2003 THE MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP
In the God-ordained marriage both the man and the woman have certain
responsibilities and obligations placed upon them that are unique to them.
In this article, I would like to write briefly about some of those
responsibilities and obligations that God has placed upon the shoulders of the
man.
Regardless of what some may say today, God has decreed that the man is to
function as the head of the house. This
is not to say that the man is inherently better than the woman.
It is not to say that God loves men more than women, nor is it to say
that the woman is to be the slave of the man.
It is simply to say that God has given the man a different function
within His ordained marriage and that function is to be the head of the wife and
the family. This position of
headship is not a pedestal from which the man is to issue orders, rather it is a
position of tremendous responsibility.
In Ephesians 5:23-25, Paul wrote, “For the husband is the head of
the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the
body. Therefore as the church is
subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave
himself for it.” There is a
great deal involved in “husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also
loved the church, and gave himself for it.”
The man is to give honor to his wife as the weaker vessel, and he must
recognize that he is to be her protector. He
must also realize that she is an heir of the promise with him, provided they are
both Christians, and that they are equal in God’s sight.
In Galatians 3:28-29, we find, “There is neither Jew nor Greek,
there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all
one in Christ Jesus. And if ye be
Christ’s, then are ye Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.”
The husband is required to treat his wife with the proper care and
respect or his prayers will not be heard. A
simple reading of 1 Peter 3:7 shows this to be true.
“Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge,
giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs
together of the grace of life: that your prayers be not hindered.”
Make no mistake about it, the husband owes his wife love, honor, care and
respect just as certainly as he owes her the physical necessities of life.
Love, honor, care and respect, and such like, are things that no amount
of money can buy or that no amount of material things can replace.
In the God-ordained family the man has the primary responsibility, given
to him by God, to provide for the physical needs of his family.
1 Timothy 5:8 tells us, “But if any provide not for his own, and
specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse
than an infidel.” Consider
also 1 Thessalonians 4:9-12, where Paul wrote, “But as touching brotherly
love ye need not that I write unto you: for ye yourselves are taught of God to
love one another. And indeed ye do
it toward all the brethren which are in all Macedonia: but we beseech you,
brethren, that ye increase more and more; and that ye study to be quiet and to
do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we command you; that
ye may walk honestly toward them that are without, and that ye may have lack of
nothing.”
I believe it is clear that the man of the house is to work so that he and
his family may have lack of none of the things they need and that he may be able
to pay his honest debts. He is to “study
to be quiet”, perhaps meaning that he is not to go about fulfilling this
obligation with whining and complaining, but that he is to get out and get busy.
However, in fulfilling this responsibility to provide for the physical
needs of the family, no husband should ever forget that the physical needs are
only a part of what God expects him to provide.
Do not forget love, honor, respect, and care.
Let’s look now at 1 Corinthians 7:1-4.
“Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for
a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless,
to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have
her own husband. Let the husband
render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the
husband. The wife hath not power of
her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of
his own body, but the wife.”
Having a loving wife, one with whom the man can share the intimacies of
marriage, is the greatest protection we can have against the sin of fornication,
and what a wonderful blessing it is. But
the man must realize that he is to render due benevolence to his wife just as
she is to render it to him. He is
also to realize that she has power over his body just as he has power over hers.
This side of marriage is not designed to be a “one sided” thing and
the man must realize this.
The woman was created for man. She
was created as a suitable companion for him and to fill his most vital needs.
She is a part of the very nature of man and must be treated as God
intended for her to be treated. As
Paul wrote in Ephesians 5:28, “So ought men to love their wives as
their own bodies. He that
loveth his wife loveth himself.” Next week, if the Lord hasn’t come by then, we will look at the man’s responsibilities and the role when children enter into the picture.”
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