THE NORTHERN KENTUCKY SEARCHER
"Search the scriptures: for in them ye think ye have eternal life: and they are they which testify of me. " (John 5:39)

VOLUME 3, NUMBER 29, AUGUST 17, 2003

WHY DO WE SAY WHAT WE SAY?

            This is a subject that I have thought about quite a bit over the years, and last week something came up that made me decide to write about it.  I received a call from someone close to me and he told me that someone had told him why a particular preacher had been asked to leave a congregation where he was working.  As you can imagine, the reason given was such to stimulate all kinds of conjecture and suspicion. 

            The first thought that went through my mind was why is this stuff being talked about.  It is none of my business, none of the caller’s business, and certainly none of the business of the one who was spreading the word; whether it was true or not.    I wondered why was it said, what was the purpose.  It certainly wasn’t love or honest concern for the brother involved, so why was it ever said?

            I wonder that about a lot of things that are said.  “Why do we say what we say?”    In Ephesians 4:29, we find, “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.”    Corrupt communication can be defined in many ways.  It can and does include bad language, low or worthless comments, rotten statements, and foul speech.  It is the kind of language that tears down rather than builds up and accomplishes nothing but to bring the ungodly thoughts that are in the mind of the speaker to the mind of the hearer.

            Let us suppose that I know something that is not real good about a member of this congregation.  If I get on the phone and tell someone else what I know, and the person I tell is not that individual, than why in the world did I say it?   I have racked my brain and I can not come up with one single good reason for doing that, and certainly not one reason that God would be pleased with.

            The bible is replete with warnings about the danger of allowing destructive speech and less than edifying language to make its way into our lives.   Jesus said in Matthew 12:36, “But I say unto you, that every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.”  Solomon said, “Be not rash with thy mouth, and let not thine heart be hasty to utter any thing before God: for God is in heaven, and thou upon earth: therefore let thy words be few.”

            Even if something is true, we must ask ourselves why we say it.  Our purpose is to reflect the will of God in our speech.  We are charged with the responsibility to say those things that will provide spiritual and moral benefit to those who hear – in other words, to give grace to the hearers.   In Proverbs 25:20, Solomon wrote, “He who sings songs to a heavy heart is like one who takes off a garment on a cold day,  and like vinegar on a wound.”  Thus, Solomon shows that the wise and proper use of the gift of speech even includes knowing when to speak and when to keep quiet.  Sometimes I believe that folks get to thinking that truth is truth no matter when it is spoken, and in a certain sense, that is true.  However, just because something happens to be true doesn’t mean that saying it is always fitting or needed, and it certainly doesn’t mean that saying it is always to edification.

            Why do we say what we say?  Is it ever right to gossip, to engage in idle talk about the personal affairs of others?  NO!  Is it ever right to bring something to someone’s attention if my true motive for saying it is to cause someone pain?  No, it is not!  Is it ever right to bring the shortcomings of an individual to someone else’s attention to build myself up or to make them think less of the individual?  No, it is not!  Is it ever right to use the God-given blessing of speech in an effort to hurt someone?  NO, it is not.

            Staying in Proverbs 25, let’s read verses 9-12.  “Debate thy cause with thy neighbor himself; and discover not a secret to another: lest he that hear it put thee to shame, and thine infamy turn not away.  A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.  As an earring of gold, and an ornament of fine gold, so is a wise reprover upon an obedient ear.”  Sometimes it is necessary to give constructive  criticism to an individual, but even then we had better be certain in our heart that it is truly meant by us to be constructive and not destructive.    I might tell someone something that he or she needs to know, and it might even prove to be constructive criticism, but if I do it to tear them down or to hurt them, I have sinned just as surly as my motive was wrong.

            As I look back over this article I realize that it is not one of the best that I have ever written.  It seems kind of choppy to me and it doesn’t flow as well as I usually like them to.  However, this is what was on my mind and hopefully it will cause every one of us to honestly consider why we am going to say what we are about to say, and if it isn’t to build up and give grace to the hearers, then just keep our mouths closed.

                                                                        Greg Litmer

WORDS

A careless word may kindle strife;
A cruel word may wreck a life.
A bitter word may hate instill;
A brutal word may smite and kill.

A gracious word may smooth the way;
A joyous word may light the day.
A timely word may lessen stress;
A loving word may heal and bless.

Anonymous