THE NORTHERN KENTUCKY SEARCHER
"Search the scriptures: for in them ye think ye have eternal life: and they are they which testify of me. " (John 5:39)

VOLUME 3, NUMBER 10,  APRIL 6, 2003

THE MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP

(PART 10)

            I would like to bring this series of articles concerning the family to a close by making a few personal observations.  Again, I want to make it clear that I am not an expert, but this summer will mark 27 years of being married and this October will mark 27 years of marrying brethren and talking to them about marriage and some of the related problems.  While that does not make me an expert, it sure does allow a little bit of perspective from which to make these observations.

            #1 – In every marriage that I have attended or conducted, somewhere in the ceremony, “till death do you part” was mentioned.  In each one of those weddings both the bride and the groom said, “I do”, or “I will”, or “yes”; some affirmation of their vow to stay together until “death” caused them to part.

            In practically every wedding that I have attended, and certainly in every one that I have conducted, Matthew 19:4-9, has been read.  “And he answered and said unto the, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?  Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh.  What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.  They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?  He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.  And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth he which is put away doth commit adultery.”

Therefore, in each wedding there has been the recognition that God does not approve of divorce, that it can be rightfully entered into for only one reason, and to do otherwise is to sin before God.  In each wedding both the bride and the groom have recognized that only death can end a marriage without sin having been committed, and in each wedding both the bride and the groom have vowed before man and  God that they would stay together in the marriage relationship until one of them died.

All of that being true, does it make the slightest bit of sense to be mean or unkind to each other?  Having vowed to live together until one dies, what can there possibly be that is worth arguing about to the point of nastiness/  Having worked hard to fall in love when no promise before God had been made, doesn’t it just make sense to keep working hard to stay in love once we have vowed before God that we were going to love, honor, and cherish this person?

#2 – Practically every wedding I have attended or conducted in the last 27 years has involved a younger couple, not all of them, but most of them.  In practically all of those weddings a prayer has been offered in which thanks were expressed, on behalf of the couple, for each other.  As you see them gaze into one another’s eyes, as you see the smiles and the tender touches and expressions of affection, you just know that they are as thankful to God at that moment as they possibly can be.  I wonder at what point so many stop being thankful.

It is such a simple thing but I guarantee that if you start the day by thanking God in your morning prayers for your husband or wife, and if you close the day doing the same thing, it is going to be a whole lot easier to keep that feeling alive.  Why is there so much emphasis placed upon what we don’t have?  If I am truly thankful for someone I am not going to mistreat them.  On the contrary, I will protect and cherish that person.  You may not be blessed with the wealthiest husband or the most beautiful wife.  He may not be a CEO and she may not be the world’s best cook. He might have a pot-belly and be losing his hair and her beautiful brunette hair might be getting gray, but the husband and wife belong to each other; God joined them together.  Oh brethren, let us always be thankful for what we do have and not worry about what they are not.

I saw you for the first time
On that special day.
All in white and on your father’s arm,
And that image has never faded away.

I held your hand in the delivery room,
I wanted to share your pain.
When it was all over you smiled at me,
And said you’d gladly do it all again.

We often moved from place to place,
And sometimes you didn’t want to go.
But you went with me out of love,
And I want you to know, I know.

The kids are all grown now,
We have done the best we could.
All the mistakes have been made together,
Just like we promised God we would.

I can’t get by on looks anymore,
Now it has to be wit and charm.
But I want you to know you are as beautiful,
As the day I saw you on your father’s arm.

SUNDAY MORNING ADULT BIBLE CLASS

Peter’s Great Confession (Matt. 16:13-20)  The First Distinct Prediction of His Death (Matt. 16:21-28, Mk. 8:31-9:1, Lk. 9:22-27)

                                                            Greg Litmer